What your partner wants to change about you

A few things you might like to know before a couple's retreat with us

If you are reading this you are probably looking at what we can offer to help you resolve issues and save your relationship or marriage.

This page has been designed to explore the most common causes of dissatisfaction in a relationship which can lead to much heartache, considerable unhappiness and ultimately walking out or the divorce courts. It is not a retreat programme but rather an outline of issues which couples need to be aware of when trying to improve their relationship.

Research indicates the main moans, groans and gripes which couples report have led to them to becoming dissatisfied with their partner and are considering the possibility that their relationship may be terminal .

However, our couples retreats take a more optimistic, positive and constructive view. Our Testimonials bear this out.

The complaints men and women make against each other, which you can read below, can be resolved, overcome and eliminated from even the most dysfunctional relationship.

Our programmes show couples how they get into these cycles of criticism; how they originate and how tomorrow's relationship can be free of such behaviour in the future - regardless of how long these destructive habits and behaviours have been going on.

PLEASE NOTE this is not a retreat programme you can sign up to but some background information for couples exploring retreats to improve their relationship.

Women's wishes : I'd love you so much more, if you would.....

1 Not be so miserable and moody. 35%

2 Listen when I talk to you. 30%

3 Stop those awful habits. 25%

4 Show me more appreciation. 25%

5 Help me around the house. 21%

6 Eat more healthily. 14%

7 Stop spending so much money. 13%

8 Cut down of your alcohol. 13%

9 Remember to put the loo seat down. 12%

10 Show more E.I. (Emotional Intelligence) 12%

11 Dress better; more sexy. 11%

12 Enjoy the same TV programmes. 11%

13 Stop smoking. 11%

14 Get rid of that beer belly. 10%

15 Have more interest in the children. 10%

16 Be more confident in the bedroom. 8%

17 Be a little taller. 7%

18 Shave cleaner and have better hair. 5%

19 Improve your table manners. 5%

* Average woman's partner to change 'wish list' :

4 things

Men's moans : And I would love you more if only you'd.....

1 Show me more affection. 23%

2 Be happier. 22%

3 Be more adventurous in the bedroom. 20%

4 Keep the house tidier. 18%

5 Be more appreciative. 17%

6 Lead a healthier lifestyle. 16%

7 Not always be so tired. 16%

8 Dress sexier. 16%

9 Stop spending so much money. 14%

10 Be more fun. 13%

11 Not be such a control freak. 13%

12 Give up those awful TV shows. 13%

13 Stop your obsession with weight and dieting. 12%

14 Be more sporty. 10%

15 Be more complimentary. 9%

16 Enjoy my films. 8%

17 Have more date nights with me. 8%

* Average man's partner to change 'wish list' : 6 things

[ Survey by Ginger Research polling 2017 ]

"The only advice you should seek is from those with long and successful marriages behind them. They're the only therapists worth listening to. "

Mail Online

20 things that make us happy

1 A kiss and a cuddle 56%

2 Laugh with others 54%

3 Clean sheets 38%

4 Stroke a pet 30%

5 Get a bargain 25%

6 Receive a compliment 24%

7 Find money 21%

8 Hear from an old friend 21%

9 Do a good deed 19%

10 Have a lazy Sunday 18%

11 Have a cup of tea with friends 17%

12 Give a present 17%

13 Smell of freshly mown grass 16%

14 Find out you lost weight 16%

15 Sit in front of a log fire 14%

16 Kindness from stranger 14%

17 Relax in a warn bath 12%

18 Morning birdsong 11%

19 Find something you'd lost 11%

20 Walk barefoot in the sand 10%

Take heart, help is on the way

First, do not despair. At Therapy retreats we do not take sides or play the 'blame game' so often experienced by our clients with previous therapists. Nor do we harp on about past suffering and expect you to retell us about the dreadful week, year or life you have had (which only serves the purpose of making you feel even worse and deepens your despair).

Our unique approach to resolving relationship problems takes a forward looking stance from the very first session. What the loving potential of your relationship can be is far more important to us than what you have been doing wrong for so long.

The start of the first session is usually marked by distress, upset and a sense of overwhelming fear that nothing can help as clients tell us how bad things are. At this stage they have lost all sense of what drew them together and how much is still there but buried under a seemingly impossible to resolve pile of hurt.

Two hours later life usually looks a little rosier.

At Therapy Retreats we are used to dealing with all the moans, groans and gripes revealed by the research. Plus many more it doesn't mention; the rows, the anger, the misperceptions and misunderstandings. We know where they come from, we know how they become a habit and we know how to eliminate them - quickly! Do not be undermined by the doomsayers who say there is no such thing as a 'quick fix'. Our results over the years and our glowing Testimonials prove otherwise.

Whether you are looking to harmonise a damaged relationship, overcome some loss of trust or faith in your partner (perhaps over an affair) or desperately dragging a marriage back from the brink of collapse our couples programmes will give you the tools and understanding necessary to achieve the goals you hope can be possible for your future together.

You can have every confidence that all is not lost, no matter how bleak things may look at present. It is never too late to have the relationship you want.

True Love never gives up.

"We come to love NOT by finding the perfect person, BUT by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."

Angelina Jolie

"We are changed when we understand something we hadn't known before."


"The purpose of life is to be happy"

Dalai Lama (Surely not that difficult when you see what's top of the list...? David Keighley)